Some of you may have heard of the German pianist Stefan Mickisch, known for his opera introductions and—more idiosyncratically—for assigning the keys of the circle of fifths to the twelve zodiac signs. In a concert announcement issued a few days ago, he praised his theory in boastful terms, referring to himself as the revealer of an absolute musical truth. To me, his conclusions appear self-referential and highly biased, and I tend to consider the whole affair a mere speculation, lacking clear philological evidence. I asked a number of questions on the pianist’s public Facebook profile which he appreciated but answered only inconsistently. Yet after I expressed my serious doubts, he would react in an aggressive tone, call me a »rare jackass« and »arrogant ignoramus« (my translations), and ask me to STFU. After that, he headed for all my profiles and pages to leave spiteful troll comments everywhere. Mickisch’s offensive language probably reveals more about his character and professional attitude than he is aware.